Missing My Friend

Dear EW,

My best friend and I are becoming distant. I thought everything was fine over the summer when we had a lot of time to hang out, but since school has started, things have been weird. We only have one class together and I barely get to talk to her.

I know that she is really busy and stressed out with school, but it makes me sad that I can’t tell her about things like I used to.

She also has a lot of other friends whom I find it hard to relate to. They are all very different than me and it seems weird to me that my friend has so much in common with them. I don’t know what happened but it seems like there is this whole other side to her that I wasn’t aware of. I just feel so out of place when we hang out together, which isn’t often. I feel really alone and I just kind of wish things could go back to the way they used to be. I don’t know, does that make me selfish?

-Missing my friend

 

Dear Missing my friend,

I’m sorry that you feel alone and that things with your friend have been weird lately. All relationships are difficult, and they require effort and attention. It can be especially difficult to balance school and life while still maintaining your friendships, but it is important. Change can be hard sometimes, but it can’t be helped so you have to find a way to make peace with it. Feeling lonely and isolated isn’t fun. I’ve been there. But remember not to give in to the way you’re feeling. Try and seek out other friends who have similar interests as you. It’s good to have a variety of friends from different circles.

Maybe try to see the situation from a different perspective. Your friend still cares about you, and she is trying to make the effort to introduce you to her other friends. I know it seems like you don’t have anything in common with them, but try to find something to talk about. It is extremely valuable to be friends with people who are different from you, so try listening to their perspectives and interests. Chances are, you’ll learn something new and interesting. The main thing is don’t close yourself off. Approach the situation with an open mind and an eagerness to connect with other people, and making friends will become a lot easier.

Becoming friends with your best friend’s other friends will allow you to spend more time with her. But remember you can always reach out to your friend to get coffee or study and catch up just the two of you. She is still your friend and she cares about you, and if you put in the effort, you can still maintain the close friendship that you have with her.

In the end, people change and relationships change. It can be hard to accept that you might not be as close with some people as you once were. Losing friendships is difficult and painful, but if you are both willing to put the effort in to stay close, you won’t lose her as a friend. Someone once told me that people are in your life for the amount of time they need to be. All of your friendships are important in shaping who you are as a person, even if they don’t last forever.

-EW

This column contains advice from an Edmonds Woodway Student. Edmonds Woodway and the Warrior Word do not necessarily agree with or condone the implementation of this advice and are not responsible for any consequences that result from following the information recommended by this column.

 

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